About Me

I am a second-career teacher. In my other life, I crunched numbers as an accountant. Probably would have made a great math teacher had the thought occurred to me. No matter, I'm where I'm supposed to be; teaching third grade. Before that, 2nd grade and before that kindergarten. I have 2 grown daughters, 1 son-in-law, 2 poodles, and 1 hubby. I live and work on Long Island.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

The bluest sky









It may be a little PTSD. 

I am truly stuck in a fog of Pandemic Fatigue.

Stuck in the muck and anxious for it, desperate for it to lift.

It will. . . especially when the bluest sky, the yellowest daffodil, and the barest tree begins to show off its 
green tempt me with hope.

I will write one word at a time, take off my winter coat, go for a walk, open my eyes, and feel.

But right now, I'm powerless. 

There are so many things that Covid brought to a halt without a proper warning.

I know I will not take them for granted when they return.

Friday, March 12, 2021

Hope

 


One year ago.

I would love to be able to write something profound

but I don't have the words.

The enormity of our world shutting down

one year ago today

 overwhelms.

I look for light in all the small places, 

spring arriving bringing another hour of sun.

And the not so small places,

the vaccine, our determination and perseverance,


learning lessons.

Hoping.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

I am so over you

This was inspired by an especially long and snowy winter a few years ago when my class and I wrote poems called "Breaking Up With Winter." 


I am so over you, lockdown

We've gotta talk

I just can't do this anymore

I'm sick and tired of shouting "I can't hear you" through muffled masks

Dying to soften up my rough and chapped, hand washed and sanitized hands

I want to eat a meal in a restaurant,

be served, 

not to have to wash the dishes

I miss movies, shows, concerts, packing a suitcase

I need to dance at a party,

to celebrate a marriage, a birth, 

give a hug,

honor a life that has been lost

I can't pretend anymore

that this normal

Covid, I am so over you 

and have been for a long, long time.

I hate you

I hope you die


Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Those boots


I think I was eight when my obsession with clothes began. Maybe I inherited the gene (or jeans) from my mom and the women who came before her, or perhaps from her lifestyle.

Every August, before school began, my dad would drive me from the Brooklyn projects where we lived to meet my fabulous Aunt Florrie at her shop in Forest Hills. There, she would let me pick out anything, and I mean everything I wanted. If she thought my mom might disapprove, she'd let me have it anyway. They were best friends and they liked to poke at each other like that, for the fun of it.

The shop was called "The Village Set." Imagine sixties hippie meets urban cool.

At eight years old, my social life didn't call for such a wardrobe. And I certainly didn't need olive green suede boots. But I would die without them. I had to have those boots. And Aunt Florrie never said "no."

I loved the way the smooth nap changed its texture when I rubbed the suede. Putting them on made me feel special. I was obsessed with those boots.

On the day I wore them on my walk to the book mobile, major boot mishap. The book mobile that looked sort of like a trailer and sort of like a bus had a set of steps to get you in and let you out. I did my thing, picked my books, checked them out, and descended the stairs. What was this? Something felt terribly wrong. My legs felt weirdly uneven. Looking down at my feet, I saw that my heel had gotten free from the boot. 

I did the only thing I could do. There were no mobile phones to call mom to get me. I picked up the heel and hobbled home, feeling like Pippi Longstocking who walked with her one foot on the sidewalk and the other in the gutter.

Funny thing about those boots, I don't remember what happened to them. If the shoemaker repaired them or if they were retired to the bottom of my closet, or given away, I just don't know. But I will never forget them just as I'll never forget tottering home...as though it happened just the other day.


Tuesday, March 9, 2021

These I am




These I Am


A dog lover

A word writer

A yoga practicer

A coffee and tea drinker

A museum wanderer

A cozy couch sitter

A slipper wearer

A This Is Us watcher

A belly laugher

A lunch bringer

An herb garden planter

An audio book listener

A martini shaker

A music dancer

A sun worshipper

A puzzle unscrambler

A pool swimmer

A wave jumper

A poem ender.




Monday, March 8, 2021

Meditation in the kitchen

 

mix until just combined

bake until slightly puffed

batter should be liquidy

don't worry if the crust cracks

cook until more al dente than usual

let it mingle until the mixture gets increasingly saucy

don't be afraid to take it very there


If you feel intimidated by the above directions, you are not alone. And if you're like me, you have this tendency to look too far in and plunge deep into a state of overthink.


But if you're also like me, you love to create delicious food but can't do it without a recipe. And recipes can cause doubt and insecurity.

I've learned to trust the meditative nature of cooking and baking (there wasn't much else to do in those early months of lockdown). It's my way of letting go of what has happened before and avoid dwelling on what's coming next. In order to focus on cooking, I'm learning to be present.

The specificity of the directions is something I've grown to appreciate. 

Samantha Seneviratne's Chocolate-Peanut Butter Swirl Cookies

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time...


Is it Covid laziness or depression? This question popped into my inbox this morning. Quiz taker that I am, I was all over examining the 6 benchmarks that will determine my state of malaise.

Here goes..

You can't snap yourself out of it. (Baking cookies helps)🍪

You can't cheer yourself up. (My husband still can :)😜

You've lost interest in everything. (I'm here writing, aren't I?)📓

You can't function like you used to. ( I teach every day)🏫

Your laziness isn't triggered by anything. (There's no place to go but the grocery)🥫

Your laziness isn't a choice. (Bingo! We have a winner)


And here's how I sum it up.


pandemic fatigue

(a haiku)



pandemic fatigue

don't wanna get out of bed

and i'm cool with that